Be Love. Love Yourself.
Easy enough, right? Well, I know for a fact I’m not alone in my struggles with body image, fitting in, feeling like a failure, getting knocked down and then not being able to find air … This knowledge of not being alone has been my saviour in the past. It’s doesn’t have that much to do with the fact that I’d enjoy other peoples’ hardships, but more with the fact that I know there are people who have survived much worse and became better people on the other side of their mountain of pain. It gives me hope.
I’ve done some research in the past year: reading and listening to people’s stories and trying to find ways to make myself stronger and not react as strongly to things going haywire in my life- essentially learning from their happenings. I have honestly become tired of myself and the way I let myself be knocked down by every little thing. It’s annoying. We usually have so much passions and loves in our lives: our family, friends, pets, even our possessions find that special place in our lives. We spend time building those relationships, rejoice when we find fulfilment in them and are devastated when they fall apart. BUT: how much time do we spend actively loving ourselves? How much time do you spend building a relationship with yourself, do you rejoice when you find fulfilment within yourself or do you only dwell on each and every mistake you find?
You are just a person. One, seemingly meaningless little puzzle piece. Sure, but you’re the only person who will be with you until the very second you die. You can hope to have people hold your hand for that final breath, but none of them will be on that journey with you. For the rest of your life, you have you. And then you have everything and everyone else. So why not like the heart you were given? Why not love the vessel you walk around in? Why not cherish the beautiful mind residing in you? Or at the very least try to? Think about it. How much easier would your life be with a positive frame of mind?
I like to organize things. It makes me happy and I find it gives me security. I think this might be the reason I organised loving oneself into three categories: Body, Mind, Heart.
Loving my Body …
Sounds steamy, right? Okay, it can and … well … come to think about it, should be a part of loving oneself. I’m not sure, though, if a healthy sex life means a healthy body or a healthy mind? I’ll say both and leave it there :).
Let’s do a little experiment now, shall we?
Take a piece of paper and a pen. In thirty seconds write down everything that comes to mind that you don’t like about your body. Done? Great. Now, do the same, but write down all the things you do like. Now count and compare. Why do I get the feeling you had absolutely no problems with the negative, but struggled through the positive? I did as well.
The only words of encouragement I could find for myself (for now) is to fake it ’till I make it. I will make myself change my perspective. Instead of fat thighs I’ll choose to see healthy legs that are able to run. Instead of freckles I used to hate, I’ll make myself see little decorations all over my face. It’s so much easier if you don’t judge every little thing. I have already made some small steps and aren’t as afraid of liking certain parts of my body. You should do the same. I do guarantee that a changed perspective also changes the way you take care of your body. You will want to eat right and move, because you’ll know you’re worth it. And for God’s sake, don’t fat shame yourself! It seems to be everyone else’s pastime. Don’t let it be yours.
Loving my Mind …
I know I’m not good at drawing, I’m not naturally very patient with myself, I’m really not a mathematician, I do not understand chemistry or physics … the list goes on (as I’m sure it does for you). I have chosen not to let that get in my way. I accept that I’m only now starting to understand basic physics and that I’ll probably never be able to draw a squirrel. I accept my shortcomings, but still want to work on my interests- never minding the fact if Mother Nature gave me the talent for it or not. Don’t let your list of fails define you. It’s really quite simple to understand that they don’t. Think about all that’s happened in your life. Think of the ups and downs. Try your very hardest and just attempt to see the negative as a lesson. Recognise your achievements, but try not to dwell on them either. It’s hard work. But you can do it.
Loving my Heart …
Our hearts get broken so many times. We get small cuts or big gashes, but both seem to leave bruises. We want to protect ourselves from anyone or anything that could cause more damage and we close ourselves off. I’ve done the same. Small acts of unkindness (from loved ones and random people alike) have made me protect myself and am now afraid to show that I truly care and who I really am. All of this leaves me a little socially awkward and probably gives off a really weird first impression.
On the other hand, I see the person I want to be. I know what I want to give the world. So how do I come from what I give to the world to actually giving what I feel is my mission to give? For me, I guess, I’ll still have to work on accepting myself: my quick brain and big mouth, my weird sense of humour, extreme sensitivity and a lack of socialization :). It’s okay. I’m okay the way I am already. My heart is in the right place and people who really know me, know that to be true. These are the people who accept my occasional tongue slip, humour and my heart. I do have to work on letting my heart shine through and not guard myself as much.
One way for me to do that is prepare myself mentally for social occasions. Every time I know I’ll be in one place for a while, I remind myself to be kind, patient and to really listen: forget about myself for a while and how I want to impress these people by having a quick and funny response. It’s not that I wouldn’t be interested in other people and their stories, but I get so nervous that it’s really hard to concentrate.
All in all, never forget to be kind to your heart and be patient with every aspect that is you. Things won’t always happen just because you’d like to will them to, but with patience they will happen. Sometimes you give it your all, but you seem to fall flat on your face and fall into a big brown hole of sticky mud. You’re not alone. We all have a ton of it all over our faces.
Choose to love yourself. It’s as easy (and as hard) as that …