Christmas isn’t a season. It’s a feeling.Edna Ferber
Christmas isn’t a season. It’s a feeling.Edna Ferber
Ranting is a good way to vent and let it all out with the end result of feeling just a little bit lighter. So, today I’ll rant. This will be a rant against cynicism and negativity.
I’m not a particular fan of small- talk. I don’t want to talk about the weather and gap- filler conversations make me extremely nervous. I do like to debate about things, but it seems that lately more and more people look at me like I’m insane when I speak my mind: my way of thinking will surely get me into trouble, I’m the odd man out (woman in my case), the world just doesn’t work like that …!! Really? Why not? Why is your world like that? Why are you miserable? Why are you always worried?
You’ve made it so. And you won’t sway me :).
I know a lot of people have learnt to be this way. They’ve led hard lives. But just because you’ve led a hard life and have learned all those lessons, doesn’t mean my life is full of roses and I’ve really had nothing to complain about, so I’m able to see my life in this completely unrealistic manner. Just because I don’t voice my hardships, it doesn’t mean I don’t have any.
Have you tried any other way of being than the one you’re in right now? Are you counting your blessings? I said a thank you to the Universe last night after the privilege of being able to take a hot shower with clean water. I said it out loud. Do you think I’m crazy? My husband told me that he read somewhere that plants grow better if you thank them. So I do. I say so many thankyous a day: for my husband, for my family, for my friends, for the roof over my head, for heating in my house, for warm water, for yoga, for my DIY projects and my talents, for clean air, for trees, for bees, for animals. I go for a walk with my doggie and give thanks for peace, for warmth. It doesn’t mean I’m not unhappy sometimes, that I don’t get heartbroken! I do fail to see the blessings of my life sometimes, I am angry and bitter now and then! It rules some of my days, but not my life. Being thankful also doesn’t make me crazy (not that I really care, to be honest). Step back and take a good hard look at your life. Count your blessings and say thank you.
Join the band-wagon of my craziness and see what a hoot it is! 😀
Are you one of those people who like to go online, hide behind the screen of your computer from the comfort of your home and write horrible, nasty comments to whomever you feel deserves it? If you are, here’s my one question for you: What will help you heal your heart and turn you into a person inclined to spread love and graciousness?
I like reading comments on various forms of content online, because sometimes you find a person seeing a certain matter from a different perspective or sometimes people are just hilarious and make me laugh SO hard :). You can also find people who share your enthusiasm for the content. But in order to be able to read something kind or constructive, you usually have to go through a crap-ton of nasty, evil comments that stab you in the eye (and heart). It makes me really sad. I can only imagine the hard work put into creating something original these days and seeing how someone gets picked apart, doesn’t sit right with me. Although I can understand and respect criticism coming from a constructive place, I don’t, on the other hand, see how someone’s appearance might change the quality of the content.
I don’t want to hate the haters, because that would essentially make me a hater and that would be counter-productive, to say the least. I would implore people who offer any kind of comments anywhere in written or any other form to either read the comment before posting and really think about it and then think again. When doing so, ask yourself: how am I benefiting this person’s work or life with my comment? How will I make them feel?
A lot of times we want to make others suffer just as much as we do and we like to dig even deeper in the pool of misery so that others can join. You don’t like being miserable, no one does. But a huge number of angry people around you won’t make you happier, it will just give more fuel to your misery and rage. So instead of seeking out content that will incline you towards being nasty, maybe find something that will ease a little of the hardship and something you’d be hard pressed to find something bad about (watch puppy videos! :D). And if you have something juicy prepared to shred someone apart, just don’t. Simply don’t. Just follow the old rule: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. My heart goes out to everyone who can’t find the positives, who only criticize and bash. I’d hate to be in that toxic frame of mind.
It doesn’t matter if it’s online, if it’s people closest to you or strangers you meet in your everyday life: remind yourself that everyone has feelings and kindness has a place everywhere. It’s really easy to be a hater behind a computer, but would you ever go up to a person and say: you’re ugly, you’re fat, you should go kill yourself …? I really doubt it. Playing hide and seek behind a computer doesn’t only effect the person on the receiving side, but it makes you look really really ugly. If you don’t know, what you post on the web, stays there. Forever. Do you want hate to be your legacy?
I cannot begin to tell you how choosing to be kind affects the person and not just the one you share your kindness with, but with you yourself. Seeing a person’s day improve because you made it possible, has no price. The warmth of a smile graces not only them, but your heart also. If you don’t believe me, try. Try to spread as much kindness over the period of a day, maybe a week. Think about what you say and how you say it. Start online if you’re embarrassed. Find something nice to say or write and do it. It will help you get out of your negative frame of mind and help ail your so very obviously bruised, but precious heart. After that, do something seemingly small, but powerful: wish someone a nice day and give them a smile. You’ll probably be surprised by how much better you feel.
The world is filled with pain. I get my share, so do you. Why make it worse for each other? Why not make it better?
If you’re in a bad place right now and feel as though the world is nothing but a black hole, maybe you’ll read this and see someone just as seemingly insignificant as yourself tell you that you are precious and worth more than any negative comment you sent into the world or receive. Your pain will go away and you’ll always be left with the memory of how you chose to deal with it. Even if you think you chose wrong or had moments when you couldn’t find it in your heart to be kind, there’s always the future to help you start over. Learn from your mistakes, but realize that no one is perfect and the important thing is to try.