I’m a creature of many flaws. I could start this post with naming my vanities, negatives and insecurities, but I won’t. We live in a world where others are all to quick to name our disadvantages for us and I see no point in helping them. I acknowledge my faults and celebrate all the positives. I choose that.
I try to keep a stiff upper lip when it comes to my “haters” and just ignore it. Granted, there aren’t that many, but I think you know the feeling: as much as you may try, it hurts. I know for myself, injustices really hurt. I do my best to be fair to people and I wish people had the common decency not to portray me as the demon’s spawn in return. No matter what, we always have people like that in our lives.
So here’s a little something for the nay-sayers of my life: I will do my hardest to keep you from my thoughts; will do my hardest not to let your sad lives touch mine and will do my best to be kind to you if/whenever I see you. I will not, on the other hand, let you live your life without you knowing that I think there’s a better way for you to behave, nor will I let you think you’re getting away with your lies. I will not hide from you, I will not be afraid of you. I will instead love myself enough to let you know that although what you say about me isn’t true and you are in desperate need to figure your own s**t out, I don’t let it rule my everyday life. Anyone not in favour of how I live my life just needs to mind their own business. Especially if they can’t be bothered to really get to know me.
Things become hard when these Debbie Downers are an immediate part of your life: family, extended family or people you just cannot avoid.
What do I do? Do I defend myself? Do I cut ties? Do I ignore it?
To be honest, I’m dealing with a little something like that in my life right now and what I see working best for me is a combination of everything. I know I have tried oh so many times to have a good relationship with certain people and we never seemed to click for some reason or another. One thing I’m trying tot tell myself now and after all these years is that that’s okay. Just because someone should be a big part of your life in theory, does not mean they have to be a big part of your life in practice. It does not mean you don’t love them or that things will never change, but if you do everything you can and the result is always your disappointment, you have to love yourself more and let go. The other thing I think is worth mentioning is not to start a war. Why create this huge drama in your life if there’s really no acceptable or positive outcome? I don’t think creating a conflict would work for my life or the ones closest to me, so I simply choose not to. This does not mean you have to take whatever bull someone feeds you. I’ve been hearing all sorts of stuff about who I allegedly am and what I’ve caused for certain people. I know that these things are most definitely not true and was (I admit) hurt when I heard about what was going on. I don’t have to let stuff like this go unnoticed. I can be firm and kind and just tell that person to really start figuring their own lives out, because they seem in desperate need to do so.
I’d love to be able to get along with everyone and I wish nothing but the best for this entire planet. I have great compassion in my heart and I can feel the hurt, the sadness and loneliness. I see how wonderful things could be with just a little kindness, grace and dignity. I will not, on the other hand, let anyone poison my heart. I simply won’t. My life has become so much better and fuller ever since I chose to surround myself with positive people. They’re the ones that deserve my focus, love and attention.