Heirlooms4Posterity

Photo by Kalyan Chakravarthy at source.

I’m not a religious person. What I mean to say is that I don’t go to church, don’t pray every evening and I don’t see the Bible as something holy to my heart. I do see myself as a spiritual person on the other hand. I’m moved by kindness I see in others, I say thanks for my blessings and I strive to see the Good. I used to be so confused and unhappy, but then something clicked (I’ve yet to pinpoint the exact moment) and I started looking at things from a different perspective. As my body and mind started to heal, so did my mental state. I started seeking wisdom from the most random places and I saw that I always have a choice. Sure, I get crippled with hurt or fear and there are certain things and situations I still can’t get a grasp on (I’m not sure I ever will). But I guess I’m not talking so much about the specifics of one’s life right now, but more about a person’s general mind-set: Are our glasses half-empty or half-full?

I don’t really have a wide social network, but I do have a few people in my life that I care for dearly and see that they’re amazing people, but I feel like they’re struggling (I’m sure they think it’s really the other way around) and I’ll be damned if I won’t try to help fix that ;). Some of them seem to think that I’m the crazy one with my way of seeing the world and that, sooner than later, I’ll give up my crazy ideas and start being a damn realist!

In truth, I don’t think that my ideology is that crazy and I know for a fact that it’s not some New Age mumbo-jumbo and I’m not this amazing person who thought of it all. No. Not at all. I also haven’t bought any self-help books and have chosen to “live by the words”- not that there’s anything wrong with that. All I know is that for a time that seemed like forever, I was like a prisoner in my own body: I wanted to be calmer and more positive, but nothing good ever seemed to happen. Happiness was a drug other people with better lives were riding on. Not me. Everyday I felt uncomfortable and uneasy and wanted to get out, but didn’t know how. It was like my mind was in the gutter, but my soul wanted to fly.

After my little brain-click happened and I still was who I was before, just a little more optimistic, I continued to have those wonderful people around me rolling their eyes at my new-found “ideas”. I would partake in quite a few debates where I’d try to persuade them to look at things from a different perspective and they’d try and help me come off of whatever I was so obviously on :D. It makes me sad because my heart wants to find words to help everyone see that things like hate, impatience and self-loathing aren’t the means to a happy life (and it honestly pisses me off when I hear that life obviously hasn’t taught me, because if it did and I’d suffer enough, I’d share their opinion- it also makes me afraid of them actually being right).

Photo by Sonny Abesamis at source.

I’m not this holy person who never sees a fault in anything, I’m far away from being perfect and I don’t think of myself as better than everyone else. I’m very much trying to get out of my comfort zone and smile more, live my truths and let others see them. It’s not easy to show kindness when you’re hard wired to keep your cool at all times. I am trying, though. I know I want to be kinder, I want to help people and I want to understand. I know a few people who make it seem so easy: they’re attentive, always have the right words to say and a hug on offer. I’m sometimes shy and at other times totally outspoken, I form opinions too quickly and I don’t think before I speak. Those things and so many more frustrate the living daylights out of me and I sometimes see how far away I am from letting myself shine my own Light, let alone help others shine theirs.

I truly believe that every life matters. We may be just one little entity on a big planet in a immeasurable Universe. And we’re really tiny when it comes to changing things  that really matter and come down to saving the Earth. I get that. The only “problem” is that there are so many of us and if you combine all of us in one big organism, we create a majestic creature of awesomeness or a dark gargoyle of destruction. All out seemingly meaningless actions matter! And it all starts with the state of our minds. That’s the message I’d like everyone to receive.

I don’t know where the future will take me. I know for now, I want to be the change I want to see in the world. I guess I’ll always want to change people’s minds: YOU CAN BE HAPPY: RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. It will change your life and the lives of people around you. And I’ll keep on repeating that to myself as well …

Life is a miracle. At least that’s what most of us feel when we gaze upon a newborn baby with adoration. This little creature is completely void of anything and everything we say is a problem with grownups and so full of perfect unconditionalities: trust, love, honesty. What happens after the well-praised miracle of new life?

We live, we play and we experience: some of us the vast opportunities of life and others cruelties which should not be ever seen or heard of. We find ourselves thrusted into a world where we’re mere numbers and are being programmed to limit ourselves. It doesn’t matter if we’re born into an affluent family or not: we surely have to live up to other peoples’ expectations and are taught that we’re just a part of the herd and it’s eat or be eaten. The horror of it all is that we don’t even know that we’re either letting ourselves be taught these truths or that we’re the teachers and have already mastered the art of self-deprecation. Instead of finding the miracles within ourselves, we strive to find ounces of sanity on a daily basis. After all of this and more, it’s now extremely hard to find an adult who isn’t cynical and intolerant towards one thing or another.

As bleak as all of the above seems, it’s not impossible to shred ourselves of whatever burdens us. The answers has many shapes, forms and sizes, but I like to say it all starts with one thing: self-awareness. Knowing the person you are, accepting flaws you have molded for yourself and the miracles instilled within you from the moment you were created. You have a powerful mind: use it. Use it to create a better head space that will involve acceptance: inward and outward. You’ll fail, make mistakes and your human condition will make you falter and give up. After rising, falling and giving up, do it all over again and rise. This time, rise for a little longer before you falter. And start again. The moment when you rise will feel like you’re flying and it will all have been worth the fall. Look for light and love and then choose to pay it forward.

What happens every time you pay it forward? You choose. Choose to accept more and judge less, you smile more and mourn less, you live with kindness and less with cynicism. You make your world more bearable at first and for a very limited amount of people, but then they pay it forward, even if just a little bit and then this world sees more moments of light and love and less moments of loss and failure.

Photo by: BK at source.

I’m a huge Beyonce fan. She’s everything I think an artist/entertainer should be: she has pipes for days and a performance to match. When I first heard the quiz part of her “Pretty Hurts” video, it got me thinking … What is my aspiration in life?

Love?

Friends?

A  successful career and money?

A sense of accomplishment?

A bitchin’ body?

Respect from others?

The answer is simple and exactly the same as Queen B’s: My aspiration is to be happy.

I find my happiness in my relationship, my darling friends and I like to feel like I belong. I also find happiness in finishing what I’ve started and I don’t mind being financially stable, either.

I’m sitting on the floor with the front door of our house open, letting the long awaited sun shine in. We still have so much to do at home. Our front yard looks … well … it looks awful. I’ve drawn some sketches and have spent a great deal of my day planning. Planning makes me happy too. It makes me think I’m moving forward and not standing still. I like to keep things moving.

I am happy with my life. The problem is that I don’t always feel content. I only have the privilege of complaining about things that aren’t life or death.  I don’t think a lot of people choose to see the difference between being generally happy and being temporarily content or not.

There is so much hurt going on right this moment. We all have our hardships, but most of us are lucky. So very lucky. we don’t even realize the only real problem in our lives is our mindset. I’m no different. I’ve cried because I really strongly dislike (I’m determined not t use the word “hate”) the state of our front yard and I’ve spent so many days being ashamed because of it. And as I write this, I’m ashamed of myself because I let a little thing like dirt in front of my house make me unhappy. People have no homes, they’re afraid for their lives, have no where to go, children are starving out there and I dare to let dirt make me cry?

I’m human and as we all do, I live in my little bubble, too. My little bubble consists of a lot of things and most of them are awesome people and things. I know I won’t be taking a great looking yard with me when I die, but taking care of my home makes me happy and that’s okay. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ll still want to accomplish having a nice looking front yard,  but I’ll try not being as mental about it. I’ll try. I’ll try being happy with the things, experiences and people I have now. And that’s hard sometimes.

There’s no shame in enjoying the material. The problem is that most find happiness only in the material and what they can show off. That, in my mind, isn’t being happy, but it’s being temporarily content. It leaves a vacancy in the heart and nothing material will ever fill the gap.

I know a person or two that make me follow them around the house and their property and aren’t happy until I go “Uh!”and “Ah!” at all the stuff they have. I  also really strongly dislike (I’m determined not t use the word “hate”) that. I see these people masking their empty lives with a nice and spotless house and pristine looking garden. I’ve done some stuff in my house I’m proud of too, but I don’t parade them like prized horses. Not my style and I don’t feel the need to. I’d like to have a nice garden so I can sit outside in the warmer months with the ones I love and enjoy their company and enjoy my moments with them. I’d like to hang a hammock outside so I can smell the freshly cut grass while I read a good book.

Happiness really isn’t a complicated accomplishment if I really think about it. As long as one has health, security, integrity and a means to survive, all else becomes a matter of mind. We’re our own worst critic and problem at the same time. I’m no different. I have a ton of work to do with myself, but writing all this down helps me put things into perspective. Having perspective makes me happy too :). What REALLY makes you happy?

Photo by: donireewalker at source.

I get so scatterbrained sometimes. I forget stuff, then get angry and frustrated easily. I think this is where my deep need for control comes from: I don’t want to be all over the place and I’m tenacious enough to make myself write everything down and keep cool (well, as much as possible). I will myself to be organised, because I’ve had to face the consequences of forgetting everything so many times.

Photo by: BK at source.

My scattered brain has really kicked its workings into high gear lately- I’ve been dealing with some stuff. If you can relate my inner turmoil to yours, I’ll let you know what works for me and then anyone out there can a) write me an email at heirlooms4posterity@gmail.com or b) write a comment to let me know what your solutions against scattered brains are. Here’s what I have the tendency to do:

The first an most important step for me is to acknowledge that I have a problem: right there and then. It’s a usual occurrence for me, but I have my shiny and glossy days where I’m on top of things and then there are those macabre days of being all over the place. So, now I’ve registered that I need more focus. I’ll usually choose from one of these:

1. Yoga
2. Taking a walk with the determination to notice things
3. Dance like there’s no tomorrow
4. Organise my notebook

If you haven’t yet experienced all the wonderful benefits of yoga, I warmly encourage you to give it a try. You don’t need a fancy yoga mat or any other equipment. You just need you and your body in the comfort of your home. I have found so much ease with my body, found self-love and muscles! Yes, being fit is a lovely by-product of yoga. It also helps organise my scattered brain functions and pulls me back into focus.

Photo by: Bruce Berrien at source.

Most of us enjoy walking outside and getting fresh air. But how many times have you REALLY seen things? When I feel out of sorts I try to go out of my way to notice the details: how the trees glisten in the sun after rain, the intricacy of how ivies weave themselves around a tree or how a loose feather graciously floats on water. Choosing to be present gives you so much power, especially when your mind doesn’t want to stand still.

If I’m all over the place, it sometimes mean I have a wee little bit of pent up energy to get rid off. I put on some empowering music and just rock and roll all over our house. So much fun! I’ll listen to Queens’ Bohemian Rhapsody, Sheppard’s Say Geronimo, some Beyonce or lately Pharell Williams’ Freedom and just jump all over the place. It’s invigorating and surprisingly calming all at once.

The very last trick up my sleeve is to make myself be organised again. If my to-do list is only in my head, I walk around like a chicken without a head doing three things at once. So I force myself to sit down and write my to-do list down, then I force myself to stick to it. It was hard for me from the beginning, but I got used to it.

If you’re as easily shaken up as I am, you probably know that there isn’t any quick solution. You need a plan and the determination to stick to it. You won’t be able to relax until you get comfortable in your decision in taking your mind into your own hands. It’s sometimes tough work, but who’s more worth it than you?