I’m a huge Beyonce fan. She’s everything I think an artist/entertainer should be: she has pipes for days and a performance to match. When I first heard the quiz part of her “Pretty Hurts” video, it got me thinking … What is my aspiration in life?
A successful career and money?
A sense of accomplishment?
A bitchin’ body?
Respect from others?
The answer is simple and exactly the same as Queen B’s: My aspiration is to be happy.
I find my happiness in my relationship, my darling friends and I like to feel like I belong. I also find happiness in finishing what I’ve started and I don’t mind being financially stable, either.
I’m sitting on the floor with the front door of our house open, letting the long awaited sun shine in. We still have so much to do at home. Our front yard looks … well … it looks awful. I’ve drawn some sketches and have spent a great deal of my day planning. Planning makes me happy too. It makes me think I’m moving forward and not standing still. I like to keep things moving.
I am happy with my life. The problem is that I don’t always feel content. I only have the privilege of complaining about things that aren’t life or death. I don’t think a lot of people choose to see the difference between being generally happy and being temporarily content or not.
There is so much hurt going on right this moment. We all have our hardships, but most of us are lucky. So very lucky. we don’t even realize the only real problem in our lives is our mindset. I’m no different. I’ve cried because I really strongly dislike (I’m determined not t use the word “hate”) the state of our front yard and I’ve spent so many days being ashamed because of it. And as I write this, I’m ashamed of myself because I let a little thing like dirt in front of my house make me unhappy. People have no homes, they’re afraid for their lives, have no where to go, children are starving out there and I dare to let dirt make me cry?
I’m human and as we all do, I live in my little bubble, too. My little bubble consists of a lot of things and most of them are awesome people and things. I know I won’t be taking a great looking yard with me when I die, but taking care of my home makes me happy and that’s okay. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ll still want to accomplish having a nice looking front yard, but I’ll try not being as mental about it. I’ll try. I’ll try being happy with the things, experiences and people I have now. And that’s hard sometimes.
There’s no shame in enjoying the material. The problem is that most find happiness only in the material and what they can show off. That, in my mind, isn’t being happy, but it’s being temporarily content. It leaves a vacancy in the heart and nothing material will ever fill the gap.
I know a person or two that make me follow them around the house and their property and aren’t happy until I go “Uh!”and “Ah!” at all the stuff they have. I also really strongly dislike (I’m determined not t use the word “hate”) that. I see these people masking their empty lives with a nice and spotless house and pristine looking garden. I’ve done some stuff in my house I’m proud of too, but I don’t parade them like prized horses. Not my style and I don’t feel the need to. I’d like to have a nice garden so I can sit outside in the warmer months with the ones I love and enjoy their company and enjoy my moments with them. I’d like to hang a hammock outside so I can smell the freshly cut grass while I read a good book.
Happiness really isn’t a complicated accomplishment if I really think about it. As long as one has health, security, integrity and a means to survive, all else becomes a matter of mind. We’re our own worst critic and problem at the same time. I’m no different. I have a ton of work to do with myself, but writing all this down helps me put things into perspective. Having perspective makes me happy too :). What REALLY makes you happy?