Savior in a World of Too Much

Most of us have so much, but appreciate so little.

One day, things we’re going as usual and the next, life as I knew it ended. My plans ran out alongside with my freedom and they took a Geronimo-style leap off a cliff and I found myself gasping for air in panic attacks that seemed to get worse by the day. My spine felt like it would snap from the tension and my head was void of all music that is vital for my life.

I started counting on days being really bad from now on. I started counting on not being able to sleep any day soon. I stared counting on being sleep-deprived and miserable form now on.

But.

Gratitude saves me.

You think it can’t get worse. You’ve reached the end of your rope and you have nowhere to go. Then, just when you think there are no blows to be dealt, you get a kidney shot that makes you collapse to the floor. It cant’t be worse, can it? Sure it can. It can always get worse. Someone will surely want to kick you when you’re down- no problem finding some of those.

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Photo by JayJayCookPro at source.

 

But it can also get better. As long as there is life in you, you can pick yourself up.

Gratitude will save you.

I believe that if you actively seek out the good in life, you will find it. It’s your job to now hold on to it and then tomorrow, find something else and hold on to your ever-growing list.

One of the problems I see with people around me in their search for happiness is the lack of gratitude for all the “little” things. I put the world little in quotes, because they’re actually quite huge. We take things like water, food and fresh air for granted. And those are just the stereotypical basics. They’re not just there because you deserve them and are entitled. You were just lucky enough to be blessed with them. And if they’re here now, doesn’t mean they’ll be here tomorrow.

I cannot even begin to explain how active gratitude saves me and how much peace it brings me.

I went for a walk with the dogs today and it was cold as hell, but the sun was shining. I stood there, in the middle of nothing, looking at the shadow my body left on the floor, felt the winter sun on my back and smiled at all the little specks of glitter the sun left on the seemingly dead surface. I wanted to somehow erase my shadow so every little snow particle could sparkle away in the too-quick-to-fade winter sun. It was beautiful. I was grateful for the moment, away from the hardships and the workload. I simply was.

I took that gratitude with me through the rest of the day. I said thanks for the food I ate, the water I drank, for the warm house I was able to go back into. For so many other things.

I started the day with a crappy attitude and a bad headache. I’m ending it tired, sure, but also just a little more optimistic and with a more positive outlook on life.

Some say this is some random hippie mentality and that I’m probably on drugs, but I don’t care. Don’t judge something until you’ve given it enough heart to try. I’d much rather be called a hippie and see the world for all the good it has to offer than live my life in perpetual shadow and only see the misery. I cannot take negativity if I can have happiness.

Life’s too short and you don’t know when you might run out of things, experiences and people to be grateful for.

Sure, I’m still heart-broken and I can’t sleep through most of the nights. I’m tired and afraid. I’m terrified of the future. But I have my moments of peace, where my mind is full of nothing, but the time and place at hand and my heart finds an appreciative smile: I have so much to be grateful for.

 

 

 

 

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